The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are

Book - 2013
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Explores the unexpected ways friends influence our personalities, choices, emotions, and even physical health
Publisher: New York : Doubleday, c2013
Edition: 1st ed
ISBN: 9780385535434
Branch Call Number: 158.25 Flor
Characteristics: 276 p. ; 22 cm
Alternative Title: Friend-fluence


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Jan 28, 2018

Friendfluence is exactly what the name says: a book about how friends influence each other. The book looks at a wide array of friendships: children who become friends because their parents know each other, friendships formed because of common illnesses, friendships that are fleeting, friendships with like-minded people, friendships with people who are completely different, etc. It also looks at the way friendships can be destructive. The book can get repetitive, but it's a very interesting look at how friendships are formed and in some cases can be more influential than family.

Cdnbookworm Feb 14, 2013

I found this book very interesting. There are lots of books about relationship and family interactions, but not so many about friends. Flora shows that studies document that friends usually have a greater influence on our lives than these other relationships. She covers this research, showing the influence that friendships have whether they continue frequent contact or not, whether they are close geographically or not. She also covers how we make friends, analyzing the different elements that friendships are based on. There are sections for childhood friendships and teen friendships, the good things that come with friendships and the bad, There is also a chapter on virtual friendship, a trend that is becoming more common.
I am a person who doesn't have a lot of friends, and I started thinking about the reasons for this. During my youth, my family moved around a fair bit, so while I made friends, I usually lost touch with them after I moved away. And I never had a lot of friends, always just a couple at a time. Lately most of my friends have been people I have worked with, which in many ways are different kinds of friendship than people you share more down time interests with. At the point I am at in my life right now, I honestly couldn't name a "best friend". This is something I will be thinking about and looking at how I spend my non-work hours to make time for potential friends, or to spend time with the more casual friends I have now.
I always like a book that gets me thinking, especially when I am thinking about changing my life in positive ways.


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