This book is bloody awful & only 15% was actually helpful. First off the authors writing style isn't very engaging. The Oz analogy wasn't helpful to me nor was some of the new agey clap trap like quoting from A Course in Miracles or suggestions on visualization. Worse was the double talk that confused like the chapter that initially says you can't get a BPD into therapy but then for the next 20 pages tells you how to find a therapist for them. A really silly "power tool" suggested using verbal acknowledgment phrases like: How did you feel the last time this happened, do you think there could be another way to look at this, or,what are the options & how do they make you feel? Ugh this author clearly has never dealt with someone with BPD because questions like that would set them off.
There were 3 things I found helpful in this book. -That there are 2 different kinds of BPD's one of which is high functioning the other is low. Maybe this author is used to dealing mostly with low. -I learned there are medications that can help with some of the symptoms. -The plan for setting limits on pg. 213 was great and I will use the ideas. Otherwise this book was not helpful.
It is hard, hard, hard to live with someone with BPD! Their chameleon-like tendencies, their ability to "conform" in a situation (if they so choose) makes it even harder on those they decide to target. This books helps to validate and shows that you do not walk alone. It stresses the importance to look after yourself and suggests tools to use to accomplish this goal. Bottom line is that you can't change others but you can change yourself. That might (might!) cause the other person to change, too.
Excellent book for family members of people with BPD.
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